Saturday, January 19, 2013

How NOT to treat your husband.

Obviously I spend too much time with babies. I develop habits of interacting with human beings that shouldn't be used on full grown adults. They especially shouldn't be used on adult males who want to retain any sense of self-respect. I find myself doing the most ridiculous things to Chris and expecting him to be amused. 

Examples:
I lay in bed beside him at night and give him butterfly kisses until he panics. What? The boys love it!
I brush my hair across his face hoping to get a giggle.
I pinch his thighs, still hoping to get a giggle.
If I'm talking and he's not looking at me, I turn his face towards me and say, "Look at mommy, look at mommy." 
I surprise him with quick raspberries on his belly when there's nothing exciting happening.
If he's not doing a great job communicating his feelings I tell him, "Use your words, honey!"
I tickle attack him when he turns his back. Does he approve of this? Absolutely not. He's one of those people who hates to be tickled, and every time I do it he tries to make me wish I had died at birth.
I try to scoop him into my lap like an infant when I want to connect.


So, ladies, let this be a lesson to you. If you have spent the last few years of your life with little people who have to be instructed not to eat their boogers and you find that your brain is slowly turning to oatmeal, STAY STRONG. One day before you know it you'll be interacting with all kinds of adults in an adult world again, and until that happens it's better for everyone if you can just pretend to be normal.

Unless you don't want to, in which case.... stay calm and carry on.

5 comments:

  1. I love this. And I know exactly what you mean, I do the same things sometimes and my man does not appreciate me licking my thumb and wiping the mess of the side of his mouth. Im learning to back off. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, I forgot that one!!! I've tried that to. It's a no go. :P Haha. I'm glad I'm not the only one!

      Delete
  2. This is hilarious. Oh the poor husbands of moms of littles!

    ReplyDelete
  3. hahahah you have a way of writing that i truly enjoy reading! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. this is so true! hilarious! new follower from the influence network!

    ReplyDelete